🍿95: Hoard
Two new trailers, a p***ed off Trump and the best film we've seen this year!
“I don't love you because love is for girls and girls are disgusting.”
~ Drop Dead Fred, 1991
The old ones are the best…
With so many new films being released, making time to watch classics isn’t easy, especially when there are plenty of films from 2023 that I still haven’t managed to see! But the other night we settled down to watch Houseboat, a 1958 American comedy starring Sophia Loren alongside Cary Grant, and there’s no denying the timeless charm of technicolour.
The film follows a widower (Grant), his three children and a beautiful Italian “nanny” (Loren), who’s secretly the daughter of an esteemed Italian composer, as they find themselves living on a shabby rundown houseboat.
If it sounds silly, it is. But somehow it’s easier to see past the obvious plot holes and blunders and just enjoy its simplicity. I have to admit I’ve not seen that many classic films (unless you include the early Bonds) but Houseboat has, like all great stories, left me wanting more.
Let us know if you’ve got any classic recommendations!
P.S. There’s no Streaming Picks this week, as we’re yet to find a reliable source for new films being put on Netflix that aren’t Netflix Originals… but if you know a place, do let us know!
What’s Popping
It’s official! Cillian Murphy is set to return for the new 28 Days Later film. Read more.
George Floyd’s family have allowed for a biopic, titled Daddy Changed the World, to be made about him. Read more.
A24 bought the rights to 'The Death of Robin Hood starring Jodie Comer and Hugh Jackman. Read more.
Rupert Friend is set to star in the upcoming Jurassic World movie. Read more.
And finally, Donald Trump plans to sue the “pretend filmmakers” behind The Apprentice (as we predicted last week). Read more.
Coming Soon
The Substance
UK: TBC // USA: TBC
It’s only a teaser trailer, but Coralie Fargeat’s twisted body horror got an 11-minute standing ovation at Cannes this week. In it, a fading celebrity (Demi Moore) decides to use a black market drug, a cell-replicating substance that temporarily creates a younger, better version of herself.
Never Let Go
UK: 27 September // USA: 27 September
As evil takes over the world beyond their front doorstep, the only protection for a mother (Halle Berry) and her twin sons is their house and their family’s protective bond. However, their safety and surroundings are at risk when one of the boys questions whether the evil is real.
Fact of the Week
Different directors have different ways to get the most out of their actors, some push them to exhaustion by filming 127 takes (Stanley Kubrick), others cast solely on headshots and the feeling they evoke (David Lynch), but Luna Carmoon, director of this week’s feature Hoard, had her own secret way of setting the scene…
In an interview with The Guardian, Carmoon admits to spritzing the set with a fragrance of her own, made from sweat, saliva, blood and sperm:
“I sprayed it in the hoarding house with Maria and her mum. I only told one other person what I was doing. I stopped spraying it when the film switches to 1994, but as soon as Maria enters her delirium, I started again. People were like, ‘Ew, that weird stale smell is back!’”
Review: Hoard
Star Rating:
5 (out of 5)
Where to Watch:
USA: Select cinemas
UK: Select cinemas
Runtime:
2hr 6m
Director:
Luna Carmoon
Blurb:
Seven-year-old Maria (Lily-Beau Leach) and her mother (Hayley Squires) scrape by in their own little world built on sorting through bins and collecting shiny rubbish. That is until one fateful night when their world falls apart, and we join Maria a decade later, living with her foster mother.
The Review:
Luna Carmoon’s award-winning debut feature is a visceral tour de force that’s charming and disgusting in equal measure and is as immersive as it is emotional.
Set in the mid-to-late 80s, the film’s first act follows Young Maria (played first by Lily-Beau Leach) and her loving, but ultimately ill-equipped mother (Hayley Squires), a hoarder, who live in a squalid house in south London. As a teenager, Maria (now played by Saura Lightfoot Leon) finds herself haunted by her past as she tries to recreate and relive traumatic experiences. The film then descends into ever-stranger territory as Maria’s behaviour becomes more erratic.
It’s not always easy to watch. Beyond the need for a strong stomach, the film’s awkwardness will have you cringing from the edge of your seat. Yet, some moments are sweet enough to make you smile and others will make you laugh out loud. It’s a curious thing, how a film can be full of such sadness and grot while simultaneously being happy and hopeful.
The cast brings Carmoon’s vision to life, with wonderful performances from all, most notably Leon, Squires and Joseph Quinn. The chemistry between Leon and Quinn, who plays Maria’s love interest Michael, is palpable. Their affection for each other stems from their similarly traumatic childhoods, which have left them stunted.
As they tease one another and play childish games that carry an undercurrent of something more adult, it’s clear that they see some unique part of themselves in each other, something that they can’t quite express. There is, however, a natural ease between them that allows them to be their true selves.
Carmoon strikes a delicate balance between innocence and sexual tension, which could, and should, feel more unsettling than it does. Yet, moral ambiguities aside, there’s an underlying sense that everything will inevitably go wrong. Carmoon walks this tightrope with aplomb, creating a pre-emptive tension that raises the film’s emotional stakes.
Carmoon delivers a sensory delight that dazzles through the grotesque to create an experience that stretches across the entire emotional spectrum. It’s everything. You have to see it.
Scroll down to see what’s in the next issue.
If you liked Hoard…
Scrapper
2023 | UK: BFI Player / Prime Video (£3.49) // USA: Paramount+ / Apple TV+ ($4.99)
It’s a charming, family-friendly (rated 12A / PG-13) indie gem from British filmmaker Charlotte Regan, starring Harris Dickinson. What else do you need? While the vibe of these films couldn’t be any more different, they cover some similar ground.
You can read our full review in SP#73.
Next Week:
Robot Dreams
UK: 22 March // USA: 31 May | Watch the Trailer
I don’t use it that often, but the app/service LikeWise always have an extensive list of what’s new in theaters and streaming. It might be worth checking out!
Picnic with William Holden and Kim Novak! One of my top five of all time.